Dying to live

It was on my third hospital admission in March 2020 to Ninewells Hospital in Dundee, Scotland, that I knew I was, quite literally, dying to live. I was one of the first patients to become seriously ill in wave one. Progressively, over several days before my final admission, I had been struggling to breathe, and despite oxygen therapy I was a deteriorating patient and my body was being ripped apart by COVID. A chest X-ray was taken during that night and the Consultant had told me that I had pneumonia. I knew he was concerned. Later during that night, I had an out of body experience where I was looking down on my lifeless body below. At the morning ward round, I asked the doctors to save my life and I was then whisked round to the intensive care unit, anaesthetized and put on a ventilator. Little did I know what was to unfold.